CrankyBuddhist   the learning never ends …

In my most recent hospital stay, that was caused by yet another emergency surgery to recover my last available gratuitous organ, I was told by my nurse that I was the best patient. She told me this more than once. She told me this every time she walked into my hospital room.

When I got home I mentioned this to the housemate who just said that she probably says that to all of her patients. With a snort I said nuh-unh. So she wanted to know how I knew that the nurse meant it.

My nurse was not the hovering type, but on each of her stops in my room she had the presence of being able to relax, or to be on a break. She told me how easy I was to take care of. She took time out to tell me about herself. She also told me some of the things that other people do to make them bad patients. Which were things that I didn’t do.

So, to be a good patient here’s my advice:

Get used to being alone.
Meditate through your alone time.
Or sleep through it.
Only ask for drugs if you need them.
Try and think of a list of things you need and ask for them all at once, so the nurse can go get them and then move on.
Don’t think of the nurse as your servant.
Don’t expect your nurse to be your friend, that way they will be.
Don’t call your nurse names.
Don’t complain too much about the food – the nurses aren’t the cooks.
Keep your personal items close to you so you can get things for yourself.
If you push the red button by accident, apologize.

Enjoy your stay! And post any clue cards you might have in the comments!

I’m not exactly sure what the first $21,odd thousand dollars was for. Apparently not much as I am now getting more bills from the anatheseologist, the pathologist, the ultrasound technician and the emergency room.

Actually the original bill was $54, some odd thousand dollars, but they gave me a $32,000 uninsured person discount.

And just as I predicted, the Financial Counselor told me not to worry about running around and getting my paperwork together because there wasn’t a deadline, yet today I received a letter from the hospital saying that I did not meet my 30 day deadline for turning in my paperwork. Although, they are going to be nice and give me another 30-day extension.

I’ve decided to just take as much time as I need tomorrow and do all the running around and get this crap taken care of.

Maybe I should just declare myself homeless?

How do people with more serious problems deal with this …

This whole surgery thing is throwing me for a loop. But then I have to put it in perspective and know that, all things considered, and on the pain scale of 0 – 10, my life pain over this should be 0, or maybe a 1.

On a weird note, if I declared myself homeless I could have the hospital bill written off just like that *snap*.

On a good note, if I just fill out all of the paperwork as a normal person, I should qualify for a write off.

National Healthcare! Socialized Medicine! No one should have to worry about these things, let alone people who are actually sick!

And the grand total for emergency gall bladder surgery is …

$21,865.66

Oh, that is after the Uninsured Patient Discount, and don’t forget, that’s payable immediately.

And to think that one minute prior to surgery I had been debt free for about two years … Oh well, what’s a life for, anyway?

For some reason this is not bothering me …